So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
