In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
