i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
