it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Randomize
