I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
