dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
