My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
