1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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