can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
