So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize