____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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