U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I cannot find my penis.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
They took my balls.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
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