i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
So much rum. So many feels.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
