do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Found the puke drawer
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
