Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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