remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
