I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
