fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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