Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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