sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
