I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I need moral support for this bender
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I lost the right to judge tonight
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
