He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
