I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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