The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
