Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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