he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
