Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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