So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
