people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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