Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
