is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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