my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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