But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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