Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Randomize
