the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I queefed so loud it echoed.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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