No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize