Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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