he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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