so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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