hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
home. puking in laundry basket.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You had me at "let me see your balls"
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
