so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
