Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
