Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
