We're facebook friends in real life
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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