Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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