So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
