I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
