Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
