i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Randomize
