We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
