watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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