I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
