Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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