I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
