he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
