i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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