Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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