Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
