sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
