as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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