North Korea, Best Korea!
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
