just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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