I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She's the barista slut.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Randomize
