we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize