i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
